One year ago today . . .
Brouwer would be diagnosed with a brain tumor in nine days.
One year ago today Brouwer couldn’t jump. One year ago today Brouwer couldn’t run. One year ago today Brouwer, who previously could walk up and down stairs just fine had resorted to crawling when ascending and descending because of the increasing unreliability of his legs. One year ago today, though we once thought he would be left-handed, Brouwer had such difficulty using his left hand that he would no longer favor it and in fact oftentimes seemed to disregard it all together. One year ago today we had consulted a neurologist approximately five days prior and we were waiting two painfully slow weeks for our follow up visit to see if Brouwer’s symptoms had . . . somehow . . . resolved . . . themselves.
One year ago today.
One year ago today, I’ll admit, I was trying to ignore Brouwer’s tremors. Brouwer’s hands trembled when he used them and one year ago today I was hoping that a vitamin-deficiency or something else – anything else – would eventually account for this shaking and also the droop on the left-side of his mouth. One year ago today Brouwer couldn’t articulate to us that he didn’t like the rides at the fair or the swing in the park because his head was filled with cerebral fluid.
One year ago today, I have to believe, that my Father knew the road ahead. He knew the valley would be deep but also that the Grace that would meet us in that depth would be big, sweet and bright.
One year and a few days more today Ginger and I were on a long-overdue date. We had planned to go to an Andrew Peterson concert a couple of hours south of Chicago. However, en route to the concert, our Honda Civic blew a head gasket, overheated, and left us stranded at a gas station in nowheresville Illinois. Instead of a concert in a comfy chair we spent the night trying to diagnose the damage to our car, dodging the intermittent rain showers, eating some nasty sunflower seeds and waiting for my brother to tow us back home.
One year and few days more today we thought our biggest worry in the world was selling a busted Civic.
The rash on Brouwer’s face seems to have disappeared, almost entirely. Today we’re hoping Brouwer’s platelets will crest 100K so he can begin cycle 5 this afternoon. If so, the next three days will be marked by the buzzing and beeping of alarms as again I give Brouwer his pills every six hours through Saturday evening.
Please pray that Brouwer’s platelets make a strong showing today. Please also pray that Brouwer’s stomach stays in check the next few days and he’s able to keep the pills down.
Finally, please also continue to thank God that we can now look back on one year ago today and recall not only the trials we would soon endure but also the Mercy that would free us.
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